2014, Resolutions and Perspective!

Okay, so here we are....2014...what do we do now?  Where do we go from here?  To resolute or to not resolute? I've thought long and hard about change I'd like to see in myself, my surroundings, my relationships, my work ethics, my down time, who I surround myself with, my relationship with God, who I am as a friend, who I am to my family and the list goes on and on....

I recently had the opportunity to change careers.  Of course with such a change, a resignation letter is usually tendered to make it official.  The morning after I accepted my new position, I entered my director's office with a great deal of apprehension and anxiety.  I'm not real good at beating around the bush, so I just simply said "I'm submitting my letter of resignation!" What happened next completely floored me....shocked me!!  My director said, "I don't know whether to throw up or cry."  She then began to tell me how she couldn't replace me.  How I had done so much for my area and she never saw this coming.  She continued for several moments singing my praises.  Please understand, I'm not basking nor am I arrogant enough to be writing this without a purpose.  For several minutes she was in shock....but so was I!!

You see I worked for this woman for almost three years and never in three years did I know how she felt about me, my work, my capabilities! Actually I didn't think she cared for me very much at all.  So her words really threw me for a loop.  I listened with intent.  I took in what she said and I was grateful for her words. Her words were affirmation of success for a job I loved!

If you're reading this, my story probably doesn't have much impact....but I hope you'll get this....my bosses words meant something to me, even in my departure.  When she finished, I asked her to please do something for me.  I asked, "please look at my four counterparts, find something great about what they do and tell them!"

We are all guilty of holding back...sometimes out of fear of rejection (that would be me), sometimes we think our words don't mean anything (again that would be me), and sometimes we're just so caught up in our own crap that we never pay attention to those that need our words, our affirmation! Chances are if someone chooses to have you in their life, your words matter!

As I looked back at how much her words meant to me, I realized that I, too, needed to heed my own advice.  I want to be more affirming, more encouraging, more powerful with my words.  I want those in my life that I share my heart with to know how much I love them, how much they mean to my life, what can I do for them, what can I do to make their day better....as we all know, we're not promised another breath! As we lose people through death and those who choose to walk away, we never know when we'll have another opportunity to share our hearts.  This is very hard for me because as I've lost many, I fear losing yet one more person in my life...for this reason I hold on tight....too tight...belt loop tight (a friend shared this phrase; it resonated with me).

So giving it all I have in 2014...I hope to love deeper without conditions, speak affirming words, think before speaking; be as encouraging as I can possibly be.  I want to choose happiness over discouragement, faith over doubt, laughter over tears, authentic over fake, transparency over walls!  I hope to be contagious!!

Are you a planner?  Do you have long term goals? A retirement plan? Did you set out in life knowing exactly what you wanted to be when you grew up?  Did it come to fruition? Its quite humorous how we make all these plans when we have absolutely no control over our future! You see God really does have a sense of humor and many times it rears itself when our best plans are in mid-stream!

After owning a business for five years, I needed a job that provided health insurance and reliability while I attended school full-time.  For whatever reason, driving a school bus seemed like the solution. The hours were perfect, the insurance was available and I love kids!  Actually I choose to be in the company of kids over adults any day!  I began driving a Special Needs bus and fell in love with transportation.  In no time I was not only a bus driver, but also an office assistant in the transportation office.  After two years, I was offered a position in another school district as the assistant Special Needs Transportation Supervisor.  When my personal life shifted, I decided that Columbia held too many memories.  I was willing to demote myself back to school bus driver and move to Aiken for a fresh start. Two weeks prior to moving to Aiken, a supervisor's position became available in Aiken County.  I saw this as affirmation of my move and God's financial provision once again!  I set my sights on my director's position as she was scheduled to retire in March 2014.  Perfect timing, giving me three years to learn the district and hone my supervisory skills before taking over as the head of transportation for Aiken County. Then came God!

You see sometimes what we love and how much God loves us collide! They don't fit! His plan for us can change without our permission, without our consent and most times leaving us in a whirlwind.  The past two weeks have been a whirlwind for me.  You see, all the plans I made came to a screeching halt when God changed my direction, when His plans became my plans through an unexpected change.  A change, that no doubt, He orchestrated, He planned, not Mona.

Suddenly, I find myself leaving transportation.  On Tuesday, I lock my office and say to my secretary for the last time "don't call me if you need me." I say goodbye to a job I love! To kids I love and to drivers who have become family.  MY plans have been halted! What is familiar is no longer to be!  As I sat in on my first meeting with my new position, I was in awe!! Not of my new position but of God! I found myself once again in awe of God!  You see what He, in all His Divineness, has blessed me with is yet again, immeasurable.  Though I will always love transportation and each time I see a school bus, will say a prayer for that special person behind the wheel, my work is done in that arena.  God has different work for me now and I am incredibly excited and blessed to be so tight in His grip, that He changed my path at will.  I'm so grateful for Keli Holbrook for being God's tool.  I'm grateful for those special people in my life who prayed with me, over me and silently for my peace and clarity in this.  I'm thankful to walk into a corporation that lives by their mission statement:
"Our mission is to serve individuals and families through programs designed to build healthy spirit mind and body, reflecting the values of the Judeo-Christian tradition while maintaining respect for all people."

Humbled and blessed to be His!